First steps in the Hi-Tech sales world

March 3, 2008

Elevator madness

Filed under: funny, humor, Personal, Startup, Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , — . @ 12:50 pm

Like most office buildings, ours has quite a few floors. Coming from the parking lot, at floor -3, to our offices at the 6th floor, is quite a climb. So, if you will excuse my laziness, I choose to go up those 9 floors by elevator. A smooth ride is always more preferable.
Most other people are also legitimate riders. 0 to 4, -1 to 5…
However, there is a certain species of people. They seem just like you and me. But, they insist on taking the lift, from floor 0 to 1. Or from 1 to 0. One floor.
For this, they stop you twice on the way. Once to get on, once to get off. Now I know this sounds like it’s not a big deal. But this is really annoying. The entrance to the stairs is right there, next to the elevator. it is one floor.
Use your legs! Especially when I am in a hurry, this double stop really makes me want to shoot these people.
Dwellers of floor 1 beware. I am on to you!

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January 24, 2008

My private jungle

Filed under: funny, humor, Personal, Startup, Uncategorized — Tags: , — . @ 12:15 pm

For years, it has been a known fact. I am a serial killer. Any plant that came near me, very quickly became another skeleton. not in the closet as in the trash can (for you brits – in the bin).
Lately, I have managed to create a small miracle. Four, I repeat – four plants have stayed alive and well on my desktop. Real plants. For over half a year they have flourished and grown. They make you feel good. They bring oxygen to the room. They improve the environment. They are pure good.
However, as of today, it seems like I have returned to my evil ways. Any idea what I have done wrong?

plant.jpg

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January 13, 2008

Someone elses stuff.

Filed under: funny, humor, Personal, Startup, travel, Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , — . @ 11:25 am

so, I have a laptop from work. We have a real love-hate relationship. On the one side, it’s a computer for free. It allows me now to sit in a lobby, drinking a drink and writing my stuff. All good. However, it’s also a part of work that is always there. While typing these words, my bottom right corner is reminding me of new emails from co-workers that need attention. It is work going with you wherever you go.

But my big dilemma is how to treat this little black box. If I had a laptop that belonged to me, I’m not sure I’d be able to consider taking it with me abroad, and I’d be very careful about leaving it in the room when I leave.
It is mine, but it’s not. On the one hand, you want to treat something that is not really yours better than you would your own suff, as it belongs to someone else. And you need to respect that. On the other hand, it’s company property, and just a tool, and it’s insured. And hell, it’s not like it’s mine…

So. Walking around town all day, do I have to carry this heavy load or can i just leave it in the room and to hell with it? Only problem is that without it, the meeting tomorrow will be a problem.
Ah, what dilemmas we have.

here is another man’s dilemma:

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December 31, 2007

Another year ends. All targets met. All systems working. All customers satisfied. All staff eagerly enthusiastic. All pigs fed and ready to fly.

Another year has passed. It’s fun to look back.
To think of where I was a year ago. Blogless (I now have 2!), starting my way in the new job, that now feels like an old glove (It stinks, but feels quite comfortable after long use) and fumbling my way in a relationship (We are getting married next year).
I guess one of the interesting things that I have discovered in the past year can be summed up regarding my 30th birthday. I feared that day so much. The reason was how I felt in my 20th. I thought my life was over. I was entering the terrible decade, where you get your bald spot, your beer belly, you get imprisoned (married) and get a mortgage, a dog, and a pension plan. Your soul dies.

Then I reached 30. Thank god, still no beer belly, and I have all my hair. But more Importantly, I have grown. Being with someone for the rest of my life seems like an adventure. Having kids seems like a dream, and owning a home, something to be proud of. And I have never in my life felt so content with who I am, and where I am in my life. I love my life, I love the people I have chosen to surround myself with, and feel like I am in a good period of my life.
What can one ask for at the end of a year, other than being with the people that you love, and love you back, and feeling content with the year gone bye. Knowing it was time well spent.

In the trip that is your life, it is much more important to enjoy the path, then reaching the final destination. It took me 30 years to figure this out.

Soon to be 31, I wish you all a wonderful new year, and may you look back at the year that has past, and have no regrets.

Let me end this year in an optimistic cartoon of my favorite characters:
19951231.gif

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December 25, 2007

Logan’s Run

Filed under: funny, humor, Personal, Startup, Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , , — . @ 1:34 pm

We have a new employee in R&D. The guy walked into the room to introduce himself. He’s about the same age as my dad. White hair, wrinkled skin, heavy glasses. This definitely stood out in a company that has an average age of about 30. All of a sudden I felt very strange. What is this guy doing here? I really felt that he doesn’t belong.
But why?
Why does this industry treat older people this badly? I am sure that if 2 equal people compete over the same job in this business, the younger one gets the job. It seems like we have entered our own version of Logan’s run (Check out the movie if you never saw it). What will happen to us once this glorious youth has passed? Do we get tossed into the volcano?
We have become a society that worships youth. We have forgotten to appreciate the wisdom and experience that older people bring. And we are the ones that will pay for this when we are a bit older, and find that we are no longer the hot stuff we thought we are. This is the only reason our generation fears growing old so much.

This is what the world is going to look like in 20 years:
20yearsfromnow.gif

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December 23, 2007

Happy Christmas

Filed under: funny, humor, Personal, Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , — . @ 9:53 am

In the words of Ali – G: “Christmas is named after a very important historical figure – Father Christmas, who’s real name is Jesus. He was born over 2000 years ago. So if he was alive today, he’d probably be dead…”

As a kid, Christmas for me was a time of joy. Cool movies on TV, snow filling the streets, a magical feeling. I enjoyed the expectation of Santa arriving on his sled and dropping gifts at my house, and completely ignored the fact that I was (and still am) Jewish.
It was hard to get my head around that fact. There was no tree in our house. But my parents let me watch all the Christmas specials I wanted and I definitely knew that I was a good buy. But still…
Since then, I have grown, learned that other than Oil spills, political struggles and corpses of bold but stupid explorers, the north pole is quite empty. Also, moving away from Boston to a warmer climate, has turned Christmas from a white, snow filled experience to just another winter day. Today, by the way, it’s quite sunny outside.
I still however get all tingly inside when I see specials on TV, so I hold a warm spot for the magic of decorated trees, corny movies and gifts. So, a merry happy Christmas to all, and may we all find joy and compassion in our hearts towards all.

Here is a glimpse of my feelings at this time of year as a kid.

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December 20, 2007

The difference between men and boys.

Filed under: funny, gadgets, humor, Personal, Startup, Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , , — . @ 1:31 pm

I am reaching my 31st birthday in an alarming rate. Today, I went eating with the guy that sits in the room with me today. We went to an Italian restaurant. Sitting there having our lunch, talking about important things. The stock market that is very much painful, yessir. Globalization, open markets, venture capitalists.
Finishing our lunch, we wandered out of the restaurant, and naturally, without even discussing it, walked into the toy shop across the street. There, on the floor, was a bargain. A small remote controlled car, on sale. we grabbed 2, and took them to work.
After charging them, we took them for a ride. It takes 42 seconds to cross the entire company from side to side.
It has been a busy day. Being a championship holder is tiresome.
It took exactly one day for two guys in R&D to go out and buy 2 bigger cars. Now there is the Product gang, against the R&D gang. Our cars are faster, theirs are bigger and can apparently ride over ours. Tomorrow we set up a challenge course with tables and stuff and see who makes it through first.

An old saying goes – The only difference between men and boys is the price of their toys…

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December 16, 2007

People that leave the company.

Long ago philosophers commented on the fact that things are always changing. One example (by Heraclitus) was that you can never cross the same river twice. The next time you step in it, you will be crossing different waters, the rocks and sand have moved. It is no longer the same as it was. Another good example told of a boat. Say you own a boat. Once in a while, the boat needs some fixing, and you take out some of the boards, and replace the with new ones. Say you have replaces 2 boards. Is it still the same boat? Then you replace the mast. How about now? Eventually you will have replaced every single part. (My experience has taught me the same applied to my old car.) Will it then still be the same boat, even if none of the parts are still the original ones?
Our bodies are the same. Cells die and are born, and we are constantly replacing parts and materials. Nothing is constant.

The same applies to companies. since I have started working here, almost every single one of the people that were here has left, and others have come. of the 40 something people that were here, 5 remain. we now number over 70. We are like homeopathic medicine.
Am I still working at the same company?

Something must be true if disney made a song out of it (2nd or 3rd line of this immortal classic)

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December 9, 2007

Working hours

Filed under: funny, humor, Personal, Startup, Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , — . @ 7:08 am

Hi-Tech people seem to live the stereotype. Arriving late, usually way after 9am, and leaving work somewhere around 7-8pm. This I believe can be explained from the old days of the startup. People used to work really hard, and stay late. However, as work became a bit more sane, people started to want their hours back, but cannot be the first to leave as that makes a bad impression.
So now everyone leaves late, but arrives late as well, to not get screwed.
I have become very tired of this tradition.
I am payed to work about 9 hours. I am expected to give more. This has created a very nasty tradition that makes me get home very late every evening. During the day, however, there is time for a lunch hour of over 1 hour, a walk to the nearest store for some M&M’s, and anything you can imagine. Not a very effective workday.
So I decided on a revolution. I get up with my girlfriend at 7, and am at work by 8. Those 9 hours mean I can work, and leave by 5, 5:30. Now that is a treat. I have my life back, I can actually do something else that day.

This is what I aim for… (Anyone even remember this?)

Only trouble is, most people here give me the bad eye when I want to leave that “early”, and ask me stuff just as I am going home. So I end up leaving about the same time…

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December 6, 2007

The sales man dilemma

Filed under: funny, humor, Personal, Startup, Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , — . @ 9:18 am

When working in R&D I felt like I was doing the real work. I was developing the system and the rest of the company were real leeches, living on my work.
Moving to a more Sales oriented job (Pre-Sale), your outlook on life slowly changes. The way a feature was implemented is so unimportant, and even whether we have it at all is no more than a line on a sales pitch. Those RD people are slow, lazy kids that know nothing on how the real world works, and we are really doing the hard, important work, selling the product, covering for all the defects that the programmers put in it, and getting the money that pays our salaries.
However, there are the sales people. They schmooze their way in life. They come to the company with a big contact list. They barely have an idea what we do. They set up meetings, as hi, and let me as the technical guy do all the talking and explaining. I then answer the questions, write all the paperwork, and fix their mistakes in the part they have to write.
And they get the commission on the deal.
The bastards.

Tho I get the feeling that the day I become a sales person, I will feel differently again…

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December 2, 2007

“Lord of the rings” and Marriage

Men love Lord of the rings. It is a book that is worshiped by so many. they see in it a small picture of the world, sometimes a better alternative than the world we live in. They seek truth within it. girls, why do you think so many young men feel so connected to this imaginary world? Well, here is the good news, and the bad:

This book is a symbol, a metaphor if you like, of marriage. Just think about it. It makes perfect sense:
First, you have a guy that puts on a ring of great power. Now, mirroring man’s greatest fear, that ring, once on his finger – turns him utterly invisible. A dark force slowly takes control over the person who wears the ring, and the longer he wears it, the stronger it’s force over him becomes. Until, his soul is lost forever and he will live a life of shadows, gone to his friends and loved ones. The man sets alone in a quest to destroy the ring, on advice of his other male friends. His quest for freedom leaves him homeless, as shattered man. now you see why men flock to it?
What else, you ask? More proof you seek? Oh yes. The Dragons and Dwarfs that the books is full of. Well, dear reader, do I really need to spell it out?
The dragon is of course the man’s mother in law. An evil monster that needs to be fought and vanquished before you can win the pretty damsel. The dwarfs? They are simply the kids to come. Small brats running around and laying their dirty hands on anything shiny and precious. Oh, and they love swinging hammers and other tools on anything.

Questions anyone?

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November 25, 2007

Nerds

This summer, my office got divided into 2 separate camps. Worlds if you like.
In everyone’s Microsoft Messenger program, there is the possibility to display an image that represents you, and place a “Personal Message”. Usually used for an appealing image of yourself and some wise line to get a laugh, these options all of a sudden, one day got taken over by a huge number of people with Autobots and Deceptecons in their Messenger program. How having the logo of a toy from the 80’s can make you cool is beyond me, but I let it pass.

As we all know, there is very little difference between a 12 year old and a computer geek (Programmer), mostly the fact that the 12 year old still has a chance of someday getting a date with a girl that does not know by heart the Klingon language (If you wonder what Klingon is, consider yourself lucky, and move on!).
However, summer being the big hit period, a new hysteria had risen to rival the first, before you could say “Autobots, transform!”.
All of a sudden, the yellow color has taken over the messenger realm as everyone has created their own image in the Simpson face maker. Yes. As part of the new movie madness, you can create your own Simpson face, and send to all your friends.
I do remind you, these are (mostly) grown people, some with families.

Could this perhaps make everyone happy?

The war had begun.
And there I was, standing in no man’s land, between fearsome robot-cars and yellow beer-bellies, holding onto my so-very-uncool ordinary image and favorite Woody Allen quote, was actually addressed more than once with the question, nay, demand, to join the clan. To make my image in yellow, or hide behind a silver robotic face. People found it hard to believe, or even a sign of treason that I was not part of the festivity. I feared for my life.

I ended up drawing a yellow robot with a beer belly, that says “Donuts, roll out”.

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